Fertile Ground

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.  Phyllis Diller

I started this entry earlier this week and am just now getting to finish it. With 4kids it is taking some creative organizing for me to actually get some blog time in. 

This morning I awoke to the soft noises of my 1month old and the cries of my 2yo. Scooping the baby out of the bed I wake my husband so he can console the toddler until she is fully awake. The baby and I head to the couch to nurse and wait and listen as my husband brings a much calmer toddler to join us.

After our wake up nursing session the baby is back to sleep,the toddler is completely awake and I am thoroughly hungry. I fix a smoothie while trying to convince the 2yo that she will be ok if I don't pick her up right away. She is of course not convinced and protests loud enough to wake the dead a.k.a our 11yo.

With Baby Einstien playing on the tv Jellybean(2yo) and I sit down to eat breakfast. To my surprise Turtle(11yo) comes out of her room dressed for the day and ready to go. This is amazing because it is before 10am and no one asked her to get up or get dressed. She is motivated this morning to make heart cakes from a recipe in the book The World of Little House by Carolyn Strom Collins and Christina Wyss Erikson. She and her sister Sunshine (8yo) were given season 8 of Little House on the Prairie as a gift from their aunt and uncle and they have been watching them everyday for a week now. While at the library I found the book and thought they would enjoy it since both of them wanted to start notebooks about Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Once she checks off the ingredients list Turtle heads to her room to change into her pioneer outfit that I made for her a couple of years ago. What was once an outfit that was almost too big is one on the verge of being too small. While she fixes her outfit I marvel at how much she has grown. Dressed and ready to go she heads to the kitchen and begins cooking.

In the meantime we are chatting while I switch out laundry, start the diapers to wash and convince the 2yo yet again that it's ok if I don't pick her up right that minute. A couple of potty attempts later we find ourselves greeting Sunshine as she gets up for the day. By this time the heart cakes are in the oven and Turtle is wanting to do another activity in the book. Upon seeing her sister dressed up Sunshine runs to get her pioneer outfit and in a few minutes they are decorating an orange and apple with whole cloves. The house if filled with the smell of cake and cloves...it smells wonderful.

By the time the fruit craft is finished the cookies come out of the oven. I have Turtle pose for a picture with the plate of cakes and then we do a taste test. They taste wonderful and bring back memories of the shortbread that ate in Scotland as a child. When I tell her this her eyes light up. I can tell she feels proud of her accomplishment and she should.

A half hour of Little House and it is fast approaching lunch. We are all in the kitchen getting things together when dad comes back from his errands. He got up sometime between the littles getting up and the cake baking. He joins us for lunch and listens to the girls share about their morning activities.

Sometime before lunch both jellybean and ace have gone down for a nap. It is truly a blur and so much a part of what I do that I can't pull out a specific time when this occured. No matter, it just means I get to eat lunch without feeding someone else at the same time.

Around 1:30pm the big girls ask if we can go visit the nature center we discovered this weekend. I am itching to go back and to have some time out of the house so I agree and we load up to go. Dad stays home with jelly because she is still napping and the big girls need some focused mom time.

Our time spent at the nature center is relaxed and unhurried...just the way I like it. I get to read the information and the girls get to explore and hang out at the stations that most interest them. By the time we leave Sunshine has expressed an interest in archaeology which is really cool because that is what I went to college for. Of course I didn't finish but it is still a big interest for me.

Before leaving we set off on a short trail and decide to come back after Christmas to check out the nature backpacks the center has so we can explore the plant life on the trail as well.

The day was great and one I know I will remember because in our house lately days like this are few and far between. I am praying that that will change. I hope to record more days like this in the future.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

 

I find I struggle with this at times. Not with outward appearances, rather with the choices that I have made in my life that place me outside of the box. It's not that I am not confident with my choices, more like I am not confident in my ability to defend my choices. Or maybe it is that I am afraid of not being accepted because of my choices.

You would think that by now I wouldn't care what people think, and that I wouldn't feel the need to defend myself in the decisions I have made. I hope that my insecurity isn't visible to my girls. I want them to be stronger and more confident than I am. I don't want them to question themselves to the point of doubt.

I want them to be comfortable in the skin they are in. Even if that means they choose differently than I would want them to. At the end of the day I want them to be able to look themselves in the mirror and recognize who is standing there and be happy with who they see.

I have a hundred and one excuses as to why I haven't had a recent entry. I will spare you the list though and just get caught up on where we are, what we are doing and if you care you can read along.

Both dh and I had a brief moment of panic in which we felt that we should become more structured in our learning. Yes, I have read my last entry but in times of panic we tend to forget.

The thought was brought on by three things. 1. A child with a mood disorder that does well, knowing what is coming next. 2. A new baby due in October and 3. Our oldest dd will have to test this year since we moved to a state that requires us to jump through hoops. Ok, it really isn't all that bad, I am just spoiled from having lived in a state where the government stayed out of our homeschooling. That of course is another post for another time. Or maybe it is best left in my head.

 After attempting to start what I thought was going to be a really cool week I quickly realized that what we have been doing is working just fine. There are a few things I can tweak for our 7yo so that she can have a little more heads up on her day. I can leave the 11yo alone because the test isn't turned in and I don't really care what the results say I know who she is and am comfortable with her journey. As for the added baby well that is what a sling is for and it isn't like we haven't added babies into our unschooling mix before. It will take some adjusting but I know it will all work out.

As if to reassure me my 11yo spent all day Friday afternoon working on her Ancient Greece, Ancient Rome, Mythology notebook. She has to have more than one thing going at a time. I don't know how she does it but it works for her. She made up quizzes so that you could find out which God or Goddess you were most like. There are sections on life for women,men and children. Some of the pages have little flaps that say "What is this" and on it is a picture, while on the back is the answer and an explanation. None of these things are things that I asked for. I just took her to the library where she proceeded to take out almost all their books on the subject. Oh and while she was working on this for 5hours she was listening to Lemony Snicketts on cd! Why were we worried again?

I suppose it is the upcoming start of the school year. So far we are the only home learning family in our apartment complex that I know of. School starts tomorrow for all of the friends the girls know and well I actually went to a homeschool convention this year. I will have to share that post another time as well.

 I am sure this is a scattered post and since I am at the library and have limited time I won't be editing this. So, please forgive typos, grammatical errors and anything else you find wrong with this post.

The journey that is unschooling, the journey that is the current path for our family. It isn't always easy. I have been tossing thoughts around in my head for a few weeks now wondering if we are going the right way.

 This is cyclical for me. It comes when we seem to be in a period of what seems like constant play and no learning. It comes when the "old school" part of my brain begins to crowd out the "life is learning" part.

I will say that I can see a maturity in myself that wasn't there a few years ago. I have refrained this time from trying to implement "school". I have done a much better job of just watching and allowing the process to unfold.

I would like to say that because of this I have seen my 7yo start to devour chapter books, or my 10yo begin to speak fluent Spanish. This isn't the case though. The evidence has been something that only I as their constant companion would see.

The things I have seen are the new found confidence my oldest has in the kitchen. The fact that my children play with all kinds of kids and never bring up gender or color or religion as a hinderence to their friendships. They talk with me about all types of things I would have never brought up with my parents. There is maturity where it once was not. Understanding where confusion used to be. Peace where frustration had a hold.

 None of these things can be shown in a worksheet. To some they won't even count as academic. That is ok. All that matters is that I see them and I know that the journey is continuing just as it should. Safe in God's hands and unhindered by me.

I have had a few emotional months and just realized the other day that I probably feel so blah because I have overloaded myself with life.

 It is easy for me to just plug through things that need to be done and then get blind sided by my emotions. I am a very emotional person but sometimes I just become numb and then I become a melting pool of huge emotions that my husband can't really understand and neither can I for that matter.

Here is what has happened since Jan.

1. Husband applied for an out of state job.

2. Husband flies to said state for interview

3. By the end of the week he has a new job.

4. Start packing up the house, praying that it sells(HA!)

5. Begin looking online for a new place to live.

5.5 7yo dd is diagnosed as having a mood disorder NOS(like we needed to add anything in here)

6. More packing...sign papers with the realtor

7. Husband starts new job while I am home with three children and STILL packing the house.

8.Company flies husband home on the weekends.

9. Quick trip to the new state to find a place to live. Found a place.

10. Head home with three children to continue packing the house.

11. Think I might be pregnant....negative test twice...keep packing.

12. Husband is home to pack the truck and get back down to the new house in one weekend.

13. Travel one and a half days with a very irritable 15month old.

14. After traveling from MI to GA...unload a 17ft U-haul in a steady rainfall from 6pm until 9:30pm.

15. Unpack house(this still continues as there are boxes in our bedroom still to be unpacked.)

16. Start to not feel too good a couple of weeks later.

17. Test for pregnancy again and wadda ya know!!

And from there I have just been an emotional blob. I guess with all that has been going on it is only reasonable that I should be but man I wish it would pass. Maybe when I am feeling better it will. I just don't think my brain is ready to process everything that is going on. In all of this I have had to start our daughter on medication, find a doctor for her that can't see her until May, find a midwife, apply for insurance and pray that my husband and children don't move away to some island without me.

It will get better right??

 Hello and welcome to my blog. Please pardon my mess or lack there of as I move from HSB to my new blog here! I am relatively new to blogging and this is the first time I have needed to move my blog so bare with me. I hope to have everything squared away by the end of the week.

 Let's see a little about moi. I am a mom of 4 and wife to an awesome husaband. We have turtle 10, sunshine 7, jelly bean 15months and one little bean on the way. We currently have all girls and while my husband would like to think this one is a boy it is most likely another girl. When we get our ultrasound I will be sure to let you know what we are having.

We unschool and have had the girls at home all along. Well, except for turtle who had a year of preschool while I was attending college. Our journey to unschooling has progressed over the years. We were always pretty relaxed and when I began to read about unschooling and spent time asking direction from God I realized that this was what fit for us. While my husband and I have had moments of panic about our approach we have stayed the course and it is awesome to see our girls grow and thrive.

While learning about unschooling I began to read more about attachement parenting and gentle discipline. These are both things that are now a part of our lives and I can only say I wish I had learned about them sooner. It has made a world of difference in our home.

 I will end here for now. I need to try to move some of my posts from HSB before my blog disappears.